A blog about my life, my likes, and my crocheting/web designing

Posts tagged ‘Life’

New family, same rejection…

This past week has been a doozy of a week.  My husband finally decided to come clean to his father about how we feel about his girlfriend and her children.  Only, it was the morning after his father had some medical things taken care of and the morning of bowling league.  It was also a day that he worked, so there was a good chance that my ride to bowling was going to be his dad and his dad’s girlfriend.  Let’s just say that his dad didn’t take our dislike of her very well, yet thankfully I was able to get a ride from my grandmother to the bowling alley.  A few pleasantries were exchanged, but I could tell that we were in the dog house with his father and the girlfriend didn’t even want to sit at the same table as us the whole night.  Now, I may not like those two together, but I am always nice and cordial and I always treat people with respect.  It is now Wednesday evening and we still have not heard a peep from his dad.  He posts those vague yet relative quote pictures on Facebook, but nothing has really been said about the talk since it was had.

At first I was nervous, felt bad, felt guilty, felt horrible that my husband may lose his connection with his father.  But after thinking about everything and talking with my husband about things he remembers from the talk (he doesn’t remember much because he was nervous and wound up), I’m just getting more and more pissed off at his dad.  One, for basically choosing someone who he has admitted he doesn’t want to marry and doesn’t really see much of a future, if any, with, and someone whose children are older than my husband and I, yet act like they are at least 10 years younger than us, over his own son and family members.  Everyone wants you to be honest until your honesty doesn’t agree with the way they want you to feel or think.  Then you are just the bitch or jerk who crapped all over their good time.  It’s not like we said he needs to kick her out and move on or anything, he just told her that we don’t think that she is a good match for him, that her family are toxic people (not over exaggerating) and that we don’t want to be around them anymore.  The girlfriend I can tolerate for the most part, but her children, no.  No thank you.

The other part that has me upset, is the fact that not only have I lost the relationship I once had with my father because he hit his midlife crisis and basically alienated himself from the family, but I am now losing a father-in-law whom I really cared about and was so excited to spend time with and do things with.  All because we have our own opinions about the people we want to spend our time with.  It’s bad enough that I grew up with a family (on my father’s side) who always made my brother and me feel like we were second best.  I never thought that when I got married that I would have to go through that all over again with another person’s family.  And be second to people who aren’t even family! It hurts.  It really does.  I know my husband only likes to talk about it so much, and then he is ready to drop it and move on.  But it hurts me that his father is so quick to choose someone else over him when he told him over a year ago that he would never let his relationship come to that point.  Well, he has come to that point and gone so far past it that the point is almost a memory.

Life can be hard, life can suck, but the one thing we all hope to have at the end of the day is the love of our families.  We still love his dad, just as much as before.  That will never change.  We just want him to be happy, but we also want to feel like we matter to him just as much (if not more than) people who aren’t even family.  I know that sounds kind of selfish, but we have put up with so much from that family for 4 years.  We have bit our tongues almost to the point of losing them, just to keep peace for his dad and to keep peace between us and his dad.  But there comes a point in your life where you have to stop living it for the happiness of everyone else and start living it for your own happiness.  Otherwise, it isn’t your life you are living.


Through richer or poorer…

So about two weeks ago, my fiancé got put on an indefinite suspension from work.  He runs a lamination machine and his scissors accidentally went through his machine and ruined belts and liner mats in the machine.  The up side is that they value him because they didn’t fire him right away like the last guy who did that, the down side is that it has been two weeks and he hasn’t heard anything yet about any decisions they are going to make.  It really sucks, but he needs to find a new job anyways.  They don’t appreciate him there and he doesn’t get the recognition he deserves and they don’t give raises very often.  There really isn’t much room for advancement either.  He needs a job that he can go to and know he is secure and appreciated.  I know that is hard to find in this economy, but there are still jobs out there like that.

One perk from this happening though is that we are getting to spend a lot more time together.  I missed him so much because his job was a 12 1/2 hour day, a weird shift rotation through the week, and he slept most of the time he was off to catch up on his sleep.  Our son is loving the fact that he gets to see daddy more often and play with him.  Our daughter is on the fence though, I think, because she doesn’t get away with a whole lot anymore. hahaha

I wish I could say that I had a great crochet business that sold a lot of items to help make up for the loss of money, but alas, it didn’t catch on like I had hoped.  People just don’t want to pay for handmade items anymore.  They want the handmade, but they don’t want to accept the fact that someone put a lot of time and energy into making it.  It’s sad, really.

I did make some dolls for two little girls for their birthday, and they loved them 🙂  I made Merida and Snow White. I have attached photos of them.  They turned out so cute.  I have a Belle lovey doll for a little 1 year old that needs a little more hair put in her head as well.  My gram thinks I should make up a bunch of little dolls and have to take to a craft show and see how they sell.  My fiancé’s father’s girlfriend is willing to get me some business cards made up too.  I love to crochet, and I really wish that I could get some people to buy things.  Even if it is only for a little while.  The extra money would even help for the wedding we have coming up this September.

The wedding planning is coming along so well, knock on wood.  We have gotten pretty much everything major we need taken care of.  Now it’s just the little things that we need to get.  I’m really looking forward to my bridal shower and bachelorette party.  My fiancé and I don’t drink, he is a recovering alcoholic, and we will be having a dry wedding.  For my bachelorette party, we are hopefully going to go to Laser Floyd!! 🙂 I am really looking forward to that, even though it sounds dorky.  I’m a little dorky, so it’s ok.  Hahaha 🙂

Well, my little one will be waking from his nap soon, so I guess I should sign off for the day….later all!

MeridaSnow White

Where does the time go?

Life with two kids can be very draining and stressful. I have to hand it to my parents for doing it so well (in a way) with my brother and I. We always had good in our bellies, clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads. We didn’t get everything we wanted, but we had a lot of love.
I’m finding that having two kids for the parents means not always getting the sleep you need, eating cold meals because you want to make sure your kids eat first, putting yourself last in most situations because you want them to be happy.
There are so many things that need done around the house and on my to do list, but the biggest thing on any parents list should be to make sure your child/children always feel and know that they are loved. Dishes will be there after you hug your kids, laundry will still be there to do while you go outside and spend quality time with them. Sometimes I think we as adults forget how much those precious little moments mean. My kids mean the world to me, and if that means a few bags under my eyes and some cold pancakes, then that’s perfectly fine to this mommy. 🙂