A blog about my life, my likes, and my crocheting/web designing

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Anxiety…how I cope…

A while ago, I was diagnosed with high anxiety.  Be it from my childhood growing up or the various hard times I had through my teens and early 20’s, this has helped me deal with it some.  Knowing what is terrorizing you in the middle of the night and keeping you from sleep, or making you stay at home in your comfy pajamas and avoiding those parties or invites to the bars from your friends, makes it easier to handle and get past.  After some blood work, I found out my vitamin D was low, which can aggravate anxiety and depression.  I started taking vitamin D supplements and I really can tell the difference.  I’ve also purchased and have been gifted some wonderful adult coloring books by Johanna Basford.  If you haven’t heard of them or seen them in the stores, go look for them!  They are wonderful.  It really does help to relieve stress when you’re having a bad day.  Crocheting also helps me with the day to day anxiety and stress.  Making something beautiful can distract anyone from sad thoughts or thoughts that you aren’t good enough.  I keep avoiding the other activity that my therapist informed me will help as well.  Exercise.  I’m a stay at home mom.  By the time I feed and care for the kids and my husband, take care of things around the house, plus trying to start potty training our almost 3 year old, there isn’t a whole lot of time for exercise, let alone sleep or fun like when I was younger.  I know that I need to start.  Losing those extra pounds I’ve been carrying around since having my son almost 3 years ago would be a big self esteem boost for me.  Not that I’m overweight or anything, but I used to be in so much better shape.  I keep telling myself that I’ll start after this holiday, or after this week, or maybe tomorrow, yet I don’t have the self discipline needed to do it on my own.  We only have one vehicle, so it’s hard to try and meet people at the gym.  I could go on with the list of excuses that I have as to why I haven’t started working out like I know I should, but I just don’t want to.  It’s hard and I didn’t have a good example growing up of taking care of my body.

Anxiety is something that not a lot of people care to know about or actually acknowledge as an actual disease, so not many people have sympathy for those who go through it.  It can be debilitating at times, but when you get yourself checked out and actually go through the steps to help manage it, anxiety doesn’t have to be something that keeps you from living your life.  It also helps to have a partner who supports you and tries to help you when they are able.  My husband works around 13 hours a day around 4-5 days a week and the days he is off are also rather busy in our house, so he helps when he is able.  We are slowly learning and getting this marriage thing down.  The support is always there though.

I am writing about this today because this morning, I was having a really bad anxiety day.  A little nap while my son was napping, some coloring and some sunshine have helped a lot since this morning.  Every time you experience a bad day, it makes you think about the good days and value them more.  You stop and go through all the different tools you have to battle the invisible monster attacking you and slowly move through them until you find the one that works that day.  Could I use a longer nap? Probably, but for now, I’m ok.  One thing you learn as a mother is that you don’t take as much care of yourself as you do the others in the house.  It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.  The hubby is pretty good about keeping me in check on that, but I slip on that one a good bit anyways.  What mother doesn’t though?

Now it’s off to dinner making, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, homework and other odd jobs around the house until bedtime.  Remember to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your loved ones.  You are important too!

Late night, early morning 

So I was up until about 1:30 am this morning weaving in ends on different things. I wake up a few times in the morning to get my hubby’s lunch ready for work and then to put my daughter on the bus. My son decided to get up early as well so mommy couldn’t get any extra sleep this morning.  This leads to a grumpy mommy. Which is not good for today. Way too much to do. More weaving in of ends, cleaning up the house, dinner with my grandma for her birthday…too much to do to be a grumpy Gus today. I will push through though, and hopefully this bad mood fades away and the day can turn around. 

Off to sew in a million more loose ends. 😬 

Ends that never end…

So far today, I have managed to weave in ends on a multitude of items. I still have a good bit left to go, but after today I feel somewhat confident I will have a good many things ready for this show. I just keep hoping and praying that it goes well and my friend and I sell a lot of stuff. 

Look how cute these bunnies are!

  

Craft show blues

So yesterday was the craft show I’ve been looking forward to for the past few months. I was excited and expected to do well. I didn’t sell much and was pretty disappointed. There were a lot more crochet booths this year but the part that upset me the most was this older lady who was selling hats like mine for $10. A lot of you may not understand, but that is too low a price for a handmade hat like ours.  

 
These hats are ones I sell at around $18-$20. They take a lot of time and materials and they are definitely worth it. 

A few parts of the show were really nice though. It was held to help support the local football team. So the team members were there to help. I made some football ear warmers and gave one to one of the players. He absolutely loved it 🙂 kept coming over and asked me how I made my stuff and how much he loved his ear warmer. 🙂   He even made sure to come help me and my husband carry stuff out to the car. Kids are still being raised right and I am so happy to have given that to such an appreciative kid. Then as I was out waiting with a final few things while my husband ran stuff to the car, there was a cute little girl who was waiting with her mother for their car to pull up. I asked if she liked princesses and gave her one of the princess lovey blankets I make. Her mother was shocked that I’d give it to her to keep and sounded like she was on the verge of tears and told her friend to give me a pumpkin roll.  They had been a vender there as well and sold them at the show. My husband said to me at the car, “The smile on your face right now”. And it was big, because I just love making people happy. So even though I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, I’m still proud of my crafts and that I was able to make people happy. My husband kept telling me how proud he was of me too, which made it worth it as well. It’s so amazing to know that the person you love supports you so much. 

Blog time

I could never make a living at writing a blog. Lol. I don’t have the discipline to sit down every day and write something. Let alone once a week. But I’ve been busy with life, so I guess that’s as good an excuse as any. Way too much going on in the past month or so. Birthdays, a funeral, parties, trick or treating, a craft show coming up. Add to some of that being sick and it’s been a madhouse here. But things are coming together and I love my life. To all you out there reading, don’t forget to go and live your life. Life is what happens while we are waiting for our plans to work out. 

Anxiety and Life

so I have been going to a therapist for a few months now. She has diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder. There are a few other small diagnoses as well, but the anxiety is my biggest problem. It has seemed to want to take over everything for me this past weekend though. It literally sucks the life out of you when it is attacking. You feel completely helpless. People who have never experienced it have no idea how awful it can truly be.  

Even though I’d love to spend the whole day in bed and just live there for a while, I have been trying to work on my crocheting and housework. It can be a slow process when you are battling something that is invisible, but at least there is progress. I can’t wait for our two week honeymoon to get here so I can try to destress with my hubby. We definitely both need it. 

Here is something I’m working on now for a future craft show. Love the yarn and how soft it is 🙂

   
 
Hoping to get this finished today as it is a fast working yarn.  We will see what the ADD allows me to finish though. Lol

Have a good day everyone!

Go speed racer!

so the races last Friday were awesome!  My father in law and husband did a great job on the drag strip 🙂 they had a blast as well. I couldn’t be more proud of them! The kids and I had an amazing time as well. Everyone got along better than expected. Then there was a Bret Michaels concert afterwards. It was really great too. It was the first time I’ve ever seen him, so it was pretty cool for me. It was also my daughter’s first concert. She was so awkward at first because she didn’t know what to do. Lol. But after a while she loosened up and started to dance some. I can’t say the same for my in law’s girlfriend. She didn’t dance much. But oh well. 

The rest of the weekend was mostly rain, so we only went over for Friday’s festivities. The rest of the weekend I spent with my mom and grandma. Went to Joann Fabric and got some light up crochet hooks! Finally! I can’t wait to test them out. I’ve been tediously working on finishing a large corner to corner afghan for a friend though, so my hands are pretty tired by the time bedtime rolls around.  I can feel my crochet mojo coming back though. I lost it for a few weeks for some reason, but it’s back with a vengeance! Haha 

Well, time for some shuteye. Busy day tomorrow! Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!