A blog about my life, my likes, and my crocheting/web designing

Anxiety…how I cope…

A while ago, I was diagnosed with high anxiety.  Be it from my childhood growing up or the various hard times I had through my teens and early 20’s, this has helped me deal with it some.  Knowing what is terrorizing you in the middle of the night and keeping you from sleep, or making you stay at home in your comfy pajamas and avoiding those parties or invites to the bars from your friends, makes it easier to handle and get past.  After some blood work, I found out my vitamin D was low, which can aggravate anxiety and depression.  I started taking vitamin D supplements and I really can tell the difference.  I’ve also purchased and have been gifted some wonderful adult coloring books by Johanna Basford.  If you haven’t heard of them or seen them in the stores, go look for them!  They are wonderful.  It really does help to relieve stress when you’re having a bad day.  Crocheting also helps me with the day to day anxiety and stress.  Making something beautiful can distract anyone from sad thoughts or thoughts that you aren’t good enough.  I keep avoiding the other activity that my therapist informed me will help as well.  Exercise.  I’m a stay at home mom.  By the time I feed and care for the kids and my husband, take care of things around the house, plus trying to start potty training our almost 3 year old, there isn’t a whole lot of time for exercise, let alone sleep or fun like when I was younger.  I know that I need to start.  Losing those extra pounds I’ve been carrying around since having my son almost 3 years ago would be a big self esteem boost for me.  Not that I’m overweight or anything, but I used to be in so much better shape.  I keep telling myself that I’ll start after this holiday, or after this week, or maybe tomorrow, yet I don’t have the self discipline needed to do it on my own.  We only have one vehicle, so it’s hard to try and meet people at the gym.  I could go on with the list of excuses that I have as to why I haven’t started working out like I know I should, but I just don’t want to.  It’s hard and I didn’t have a good example growing up of taking care of my body.

Anxiety is something that not a lot of people care to know about or actually acknowledge as an actual disease, so not many people have sympathy for those who go through it.  It can be debilitating at times, but when you get yourself checked out and actually go through the steps to help manage it, anxiety doesn’t have to be something that keeps you from living your life.  It also helps to have a partner who supports you and tries to help you when they are able.  My husband works around 13 hours a day around 4-5 days a week and the days he is off are also rather busy in our house, so he helps when he is able.  We are slowly learning and getting this marriage thing down.  The support is always there though.

I am writing about this today because this morning, I was having a really bad anxiety day.  A little nap while my son was napping, some coloring and some sunshine have helped a lot since this morning.  Every time you experience a bad day, it makes you think about the good days and value them more.  You stop and go through all the different tools you have to battle the invisible monster attacking you and slowly move through them until you find the one that works that day.  Could I use a longer nap? Probably, but for now, I’m ok.  One thing you learn as a mother is that you don’t take as much care of yourself as you do the others in the house.  It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.  The hubby is pretty good about keeping me in check on that, but I slip on that one a good bit anyways.  What mother doesn’t though?

Now it’s off to dinner making, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, homework and other odd jobs around the house until bedtime.  Remember to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your loved ones.  You are important too!

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