A blog about my life, my likes, and my crocheting/web designing

Archive for October, 2014

New family, same rejection…

This past week has been a doozy of a week.  My husband finally decided to come clean to his father about how we feel about his girlfriend and her children.  Only, it was the morning after his father had some medical things taken care of and the morning of bowling league.  It was also a day that he worked, so there was a good chance that my ride to bowling was going to be his dad and his dad’s girlfriend.  Let’s just say that his dad didn’t take our dislike of her very well, yet thankfully I was able to get a ride from my grandmother to the bowling alley.  A few pleasantries were exchanged, but I could tell that we were in the dog house with his father and the girlfriend didn’t even want to sit at the same table as us the whole night.  Now, I may not like those two together, but I am always nice and cordial and I always treat people with respect.  It is now Wednesday evening and we still have not heard a peep from his dad.  He posts those vague yet relative quote pictures on Facebook, but nothing has really been said about the talk since it was had.

At first I was nervous, felt bad, felt guilty, felt horrible that my husband may lose his connection with his father.  But after thinking about everything and talking with my husband about things he remembers from the talk (he doesn’t remember much because he was nervous and wound up), I’m just getting more and more pissed off at his dad.  One, for basically choosing someone who he has admitted he doesn’t want to marry and doesn’t really see much of a future, if any, with, and someone whose children are older than my husband and I, yet act like they are at least 10 years younger than us, over his own son and family members.  Everyone wants you to be honest until your honesty doesn’t agree with the way they want you to feel or think.  Then you are just the bitch or jerk who crapped all over their good time.  It’s not like we said he needs to kick her out and move on or anything, he just told her that we don’t think that she is a good match for him, that her family are toxic people (not over exaggerating) and that we don’t want to be around them anymore.  The girlfriend I can tolerate for the most part, but her children, no.  No thank you.

The other part that has me upset, is the fact that not only have I lost the relationship I once had with my father because he hit his midlife crisis and basically alienated himself from the family, but I am now losing a father-in-law whom I really cared about and was so excited to spend time with and do things with.  All because we have our own opinions about the people we want to spend our time with.  It’s bad enough that I grew up with a family (on my father’s side) who always made my brother and me feel like we were second best.  I never thought that when I got married that I would have to go through that all over again with another person’s family.  And be second to people who aren’t even family! It hurts.  It really does.  I know my husband only likes to talk about it so much, and then he is ready to drop it and move on.  But it hurts me that his father is so quick to choose someone else over him when he told him over a year ago that he would never let his relationship come to that point.  Well, he has come to that point and gone so far past it that the point is almost a memory.

Life can be hard, life can suck, but the one thing we all hope to have at the end of the day is the love of our families.  We still love his dad, just as much as before.  That will never change.  We just want him to be happy, but we also want to feel like we matter to him just as much (if not more than) people who aren’t even family.  I know that sounds kind of selfish, but we have put up with so much from that family for 4 years.  We have bit our tongues almost to the point of losing them, just to keep peace for his dad and to keep peace between us and his dad.  But there comes a point in your life where you have to stop living it for the happiness of everyone else and start living it for your own happiness.  Otherwise, it isn’t your life you are living.

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Bowling and disc golf

My husband and I joined his dad’s bowling league. It’s been a lot of fun and last night I actually bowled a 175! Personal best 🙂
Today he has a disc golf tournament with his coworkers. It’s a little cold out, but it’s all good. I got my hoodie so I’ll be ok.
Gotta get my C & D animals made today for the animal appliqués. But for now, spending time with my guy 🙂
Have a crafty day!

Letters A & B

Got my first two animals done today.
A is for Alligator and B is for Butterfly.

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Can’t wait to make something nice for my little man 🙂

Happy crafting everyone 🙂

Alphabet appliqué

I love crocheting and don’t write about it enough. I made a monkey for my son not too long ago and he seems to like it 🙂 lol I say seems to because he’s a boy and is rougher on his toys than my daughter was.
A few days ago, I saw on a page I like on Facebook where a crafter I like is doing an alphabet of animal appliqué for a blanket she is making. She is sharing the animals one day at a time and in alphabetical order. I am going to try and crochet along and either make a little book for my son with the animals or a blanket for him with them. We shall see. 🙂
If you would like to check out the page, her crochet page is Repeat Crafter Me. https://www.facebook.com/RepeatCrafterMe
She has amazing patterns and items and is so talented!
I will try to post animals as I get them done.
If only there were more hours in the day so we could accomplish more things. Lol
Have a crafty day everyone!!

Sleepless nights…

It is 12:23am. I am still wide awake while my husband (still not used to that lol) and son sleep on the other side of the bed. I have birthday ideas for my daughters upcoming party running through my head. Ideas for the invitations. People who I hope can make it to the party.
Hopes for people who can’t make it to the party…..
That’s the part that gives me anxiety attacks.
I love my new father in law. He is literally the best!! It’s his “girlfriend ” that I’m not crazy about. That and her children/grandchildren. I’m not trying to sound rude. I’m really not. It’s just, she is not a nice person, her daughter is not a nice person, the grandkids, well, one of them is a sweetheart, but how do you say “she can come but the rest of you can stay home” without sounding like the wicked witch of the east? The problem comes because we invite his dad and “her” to our children’s parties, yet she always brings along the grandkids, without asking. She assumes we consider them family, yet we don’t. And honestly, if I could have just his dad come, it would make things a lot easier.
His girlfriend decided to have some choice words with my mother at the end of our wedding reception 3 weeks ago and it wasn’t pretty. My mother did nothing wrong, wasn’t talking to or about his dad’s girlfriend, yet she decided to verbally attack my mother for no good reason. This is the kind of stuff that happens on a regular basis. She says or does something to piss off or offend someone, yet his dad either isn’t around but automatically sides with her, or he just chooses to act oblivious yet still sides with her “to keep the peace at home”. It has driven a huge wedge in the family. And now, after the wedding fiasco, which was the only bad part about our wedding, my mother has said that she will not go to places where that woman is invited. This makes birthdays and holidays tricky. I’m not good with confrontation. My husband was taking things home when the wedding fiasco happened so I had to deal with it myself and didn’t have a clue how to go through with it without my voice cracking every few words like a boy going through puberty. :/ not fun.
Again, I love his dad, he is the best father-in-law I could ever ask for. My own dad has recently bailed on my brother and I, so it’s nice to have a father type figure who actually cares again. I just keep hoping that my husband will have a talk with his dad about everything and how we feel about what has happened and things to come.
As a mother, all I want is for my girl to have the best party ever and have lots of fun with her family and friends. I know that if that woman comes and she brings her grandkids, she will try to steal the show and in one way or another, try to ruin my baby’s birthday.
I wish there was a guidebook to help in life situations such as these, yet sadly, there is not. So I will be praying for some kind of miracle for my little girls party.
Sorry for the ranting, just some things u really needed to get off my chest. My husband picks on me and says that I need to grow a back bone and stand up for myself, yet I don’t want to drive a wedge between him and his dad. I’ve basically lost my dad and I know how much it hurts. He has already lost his mother around five years ago, I couldn’t do that to him. It’s just not fair that the rest of the family has to grit their teeth and put up with someone who doesn’t fit in to the family at all just to “keep the peace”.